March 29, 2011

Monday 3/28/11

Remember that bike that I mentioned on Friday?

It is a 2009 Ducati Monster 1100 S, it is red, has Ohlins Suspension and a Ducati Race ECU and it is beautiful!!  

A little bike background:  My first bike ever was a 2008 Harley Davidson Crossbones -- I was a tough girl.  My second bike was a 2008 Triumph Speed Triple -- a naked bike that made me look like a hooligan.  My third bike was and still is a 2006 Ducati 999R Xerox -- you have seen pictures of me on this bike at the track.  This bike is an amazing piece of machinery.  It offers a great deal in terms of performance and is track ready.  The bike runs very hot and is not friendly to riding in Houston in the summer - so Matt and I knew at some point I would have to decide if I wanted to get another bike or trade in the Xerox.  Given my current situation, I know that the Xerox asks too much of me - the riding position is very aggressive and in my opinion it requires a great deal of focus.  With all of that said, this Monster at the shop is something that suits my current needs a little better.  It is not as hot in the summer and the riding position is more upright so less aggressive. 

So Matt and I decided that given the fact that we just sold the SuperM - we can take in a new addition to the family and I am buying the Ducati Monster.  I guess I can still call it SuperM for SuperMonster -- but personalized plates for motorcycles are pretty limiting and I didn’t land in a good place.  So for now -- I will have to do without the personalized plates.  Just know that I will be out there riding around on my Monster sometime soon.  Pictures coming.  

Monday night dinner:

Monday was a really good day and I was feeling pretty good.  Matt and I ended the day agreeing to go out to dinner at Cahills for a burger and a beer.  In all honesty, I didn’t taste the beer or burger much - as the chemo flavors in my mouth are pretty over-powering this week.  But we had a great time at dinner.  It was very quiet and we spoke at length to the bartender about hockey ... Redwings Suck!!  

Me at Cahill's with my Bud Light ... "HERE WE GO!!!"

I love my book and shirt - Thank you Brett :)

Saturday 3/26/11

Today started as a relaxed day of tax prep.  If that isn’t an oxy-moron, I don’t know what is.   Matt and I spent the morning preparing all of our tax paperwork for our accountant, while most of you think we are really late in the game - it is pretty amazing how much of your time chemo treatment steals ... I had full intention of having this all squared away by now but I wasn’t that lucky.  The good news is that Matt and I rounded up our info in half the time working as a team .. yahoo for taxes!!  Hopefully we don’t owe too much money this year - although with no children as tax deductions that is likely not the case.  The government loves our money :)

End of an era:

Matt and I have been considering selling the SuperM (BMW M Z3 Roadster) for some time now.  As a telecommuter I don’t drive it much and anyone who knows BMWs knows that they really need to be driven.  Long and short, we finally found the right buyer and today the car was picked up and on it’s way to Wilmington, DE.  I have never seen a car be shipped in this manner - so it was pretty interesting and scary all at the same time.  Matt and I watched this guy load the car and strap it down.  Then  off he went - to Louisiana to pick up another car, the days of my Super Charged BMW M Z3 Roadster are over.  I personally had a GREAT time owning the car and the SuperM will always have a special place in my heart.  

Who's sad about the SuperM leaving?

Load her up!

Forced Smile (bye bye SuperM)

Off to it's new home!

Friday 3/25/11

Today I returned to the clinic for my Neulasta Shot (White Blood Cell Booster).  Matt and I stopped by Houston Superbikes that evening to say hello and pick up Matt’s bike after his crash last week.  You can’t even tell it was down, they did a great job with the repairs.  

Here is a link to our good friends at Houston Superbikes:  http://desmoporsche.com/

And during today’s visit a Ducati Monster 1100 S caught my eye.  I had seen the bike before - but today it seemed more interesting.  More on that later.  

Me with "Jolly Roger Bandana" from St Thomas (thank you Larry and Cindy)

Thursday 3/24/11

Today I received the 4th of 6 treatments.  I am over half way through my chemo treatment.  I now know what to expect from the cocktail -- as it has remained the same each time, with the only addition being iron to assure that my blood counts stay high enough to keep my treatment on track and on time.  While treatment is pretty tiring -- Matt and I have fallen into a routine, he took me home and I was down for a nap.  

Medication keeps me busy and my commitment to resting is pretty much a full time job.  

Cake in my Chemo Cubby ... Yummy

Wednesday 3/23/11

Before leaving for my trip I was feeling pretty good and while I would like to think I have learned to master my chemo side-effects that is a lie.  I  have good days and bad days and there really seems to be no pattern at this point.  I was off my anti-nausea medication and for the duration of my trip I was able keep my stomach in check, no anti-nausea medicine while I was traveling.  I was lucky enough to stay on top of my nutrition and felt pretty good with the food I took in.  

San Francisco was GREAT!!  In comparison to the weather in Houston, it was crisp and refreshing.  Truth be told, being with co-workers for 3 solid days was very different then what I am used to now as a telecommuter.  As a people person,  I really miss being around people.

After 3 full days of meetings (brainstorming, discussions and ice-breakers everyone was ready to head home).  Although if you ask my meeting participants they may have enjoyed my ice-breakers -- always good to compete in paper airplane races, conjure up a knick name or win the title of “Candy Bar Royalty (Queen or King)” first thing in the morning.

Linda and I
Linda - thanks for the hat!!

Self Portrait at the airport (after Midnight)
Tired SuperMonkey

Tuesday 3/22/11

I wore my wig on Tuesday and after a VERY long day of wearing the wig I now have an opinion about wig wearing.  

What look wins (here is a hint - it’s not the wig):

I used this trip to try out the wig.  I can confidently say now that of all the looks I like the wig the least.  If you leave your room / home with a wig on you are committed to this look for the day (unless you want to walk around with the mark on your head that the wig leaves behind and a wig in your hand or in your bag).  I don’t like that.  With a hat I can easily decide to take it off or put it back on and while at times that makes people uncomfortable I would rather have the option then be limited to one look and temperature.  

Don’t get me wrong - I am very glad I have a wig ... it is a fun different look :)  But not really a surprise - I don’t love dealing with or handling hair.  My personal struggle with hair prior to Chemo and Cancer was that I had way too much of it and it always seemed to expand.  Now that I have no hair I find myself being even more frustrated with the way hair falls or looks or how gosh darn hot it is.  So for me, I think no hair is better :)

Me and Jen at Osha in San Fran

Amy, Jen and I at Osha in San Fran

Monday 3/21/11

I was met on Monday by many happy co-workers.  I made every effort to tell my co-workers about my diagnosis and treatment prior to travel -- I didn’t  and don’t want anyone to feel surprised.  Everyone at work has been absolutely amazing and supportive!!!  

While there aren’t really any words that can describe the remorse people feel about my condition - there are many success stories that people share and I find joy in hearing.  It seems that most people have been affected somehow by cancer -- they either know a survivor or have lost a loved one to the disease.  I would say the most challenging thing to date is hearing a story that touches me and remembering that I am at work and expected to keep it together.  When hearing these touching stories that people share I have to admit there are times that I have to really focus on holding back the tears.  It brings you to a different place to be this close to your own mortality.  You appreciate and respect things on a different level.  While I don’t profess to being an all knowing cancer survivor - I can honestly say that I will never be the same.  This situation ... this challenge has changed who I am, now and forever!!

Stay tuned for more SuperMonkey Adventures,

Nancy

"Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom."

 - George S Patton

March 20, 2011

Sunday 3/20/11

Today I leave for a business trip to San Francisco.  I am facilitating a pretty big meeting.  I am taking my wig and haven’t decided if I will wear it while I am there.  When I wore it on Friday - I learned that it is actually pretty warm - this can be good a bad.  

Since having no hair I have realized how much heat escapes from my head -- I am hot then cold, then hot again all the time.  With the wig on my temperature was more stable -- but you can’t just take it off if you get hot -- so you are a little more limited.  I also haven’t worn it very much so it still feels very “different” not bad, but different.  Either way - it is great to have options I am glad I have the wig :)

Saturday 3/19/11

The day started early - Matt was up at 4 and I was up shortly after.  Matt had to get himself together for the day at the Track.  Matt and I have done a Track Day together and for those of you who don’t know what a Track Day is -- Motorcycle Riders who want to sharpen their skills at high speeds in a controlled environment sign up for a day of instruction and riding from racers.  You can learn a lot at these events, it is a very safe environment without distractions of the road and it is incredibly fun, but like anything worth doing it comes with it’s own set of risks.  All riders wear safety gear including:  Full Helmet, Full Leathers - either one or two piece, Back Brace, Motorcycle Boots and Protective Gloves.  Below are pictures of Matt and I from our first Track Day 12/12/10.

Me at the Track

Matt at the Track

Today - the plan was that Matt would go to the Track and I would meet him later.  I received a call from Matt at about 11 am (I was already headed to the Track) to tell me that he was fine, but I could turn around and go home.  Matt’s day was cut short from a low side crash into a corner half way into the second session. 

Matt made it through without injury -- but his bike needed a little TLC.  Matt can’t stop talking about how much fun he had and can’t wait to get back to the track. :)

A note about neighbors:  Matt and I are very lucky we have some unbelievable neighbors who have all remained very interested in and supportive of my treatment.  Chris and Heather are one street over - we share an alley and they are no exception in that they are supportive.  They continually ask how things are going and have offered to help in anyway possible.  Today they invited us over for dinner, they were having a few people over so a good chance for some social time.  

For those who don’t know this about me I come from a pretty big family and am actually the last of 9 children.  That means a lot of nieces and nephews, and growing up there were a lot of children; babies, toddlers and teenagers.  Chris and Heather have a toddler - Myles --- who is so just a few months shy of his second birthday.  His nanny speaks Spanish and therefore Myles says a lot of Spanish words -- it is AWESOME!!  I was a little concerned about how Myles would react to “No Hair Nancy”.  I arrived with a hat on my head and when I took it off Myles was very surprised and intrigued, it didn’t take him long to warm back up.   We spent lots of time playing with the camera -- some pictures below.  Myles is very interested in watches and clocks.  My watch has a bezel ring on it -- and Myles was super interested - he even learned the word “bezel”.  He doesn’t have the motor skills to move the bezel ring but he learned the word in no time.  

Myles and I had a great time playing -- maybe too good.  He ended up staying awake way past his bedtime ... Sorry Chris and Heather.  

Me at Chris and Heathers'

Myles having a great time

Me and Myles having fun with the camera and the hat :)

Chris and Heather were great hosts and Myles was a lot of fun.  Thank you for a great evening!!

Friday 3/17/11

I was able to get Storm an appointment at the vet for Friday and by now Matt was home and dropped him off for me.  I went to the office for a screening (which includes blood pressure, weight and cholesterol testing - via blood draw).  

I decided to wear my wig for some practice - I have not worn it for an entire day EVER.  I wasn’t able to see all my co-workers while I was there, but I realized how nice it was to see people.  Everyone noticed the new style and when I shared that it was a wig - most were surprised.  The wig is synthetic and I got a few comments that it must be real hair -- that Raquel Welch knows how to design a wig :)  

I had lunch with Vera - we ate outside and after making her promise that she would keep her eyes open -  I took this great picture of us at lunch - Thanks for taking the time for lunch Vera. :)

Vera and I at BerryHill

After picking Storm up from the vet ... he was exhausted and sick ... poor little guy.  Matt and I got home each with the intent to do a few things.  Matt prepared for his day at the Motorcycle Track in the garage, while I decided outside was better then inside and I volunteered to mow the lawn.  Matt is pretty protective of lawn mowing but was comfortable turning over the reigns this time :)  And believe it or not I mowed with my wig on.  Some people exercise with wigs on so this is no big deal for the wig.  Pictures below taken by Matt while I was mowing.  

Wig with Sun Glasses is a Good Look :)

Weed Whacking 

Mowing is so much fun!

Not sure what happened in this pic -- maybe hair flip :)

Week of 3/14/11

This week I had high hopes of running and exercising... What is it that quote “The best laid plans of mice and men often go astray”.  Well this week was no different - I found myself feeling very tired after a full day of work that left me feeling in need of rest instead of exercise.  

With Matt out of town and the feeling of exhaustion in the air ... wouldn’t you know it Storm (our Siberian Husky) got sick.  I spent 2 almost 3 days cleaning up the house of Storm poop.  For someone who is already experiencing nausea -- there is nothing like this type of clean up to straighten you out.   This is a true test of intestinal fortitude ... literally!!

Chemo fun fact:  There are lots of side effects you are warned about but you never know what you will experience because it is different for everyone.  I was told that changes to your nails are very normal.  I am living a life without pedicures which is pretty harsh - but this week my finger nails were very sensitive and as the week progressed my toe nails have been not only sensitive but have started to change color.  I am used to losing toe nails with races (marathons and adventure races) but this is a pretty constant pain that makes me consider and reconsider all my shoe choices.  For now I think cute shoes are out :(  

Stay Tuned for More SuperMonkey Adventures,

Nancy

Aka:  SuperMonkey

3 Deep Thoughts by Jack Handey:

1. “If you're robbing a bank and you're pants fall down, I think it's okay to laugh and to let the hostages laugh too, because, come on, life is funny.”
2. “I wish I had a Kryptonite cross, because then you could keep both Dracula AND Superman away.”
3. “If they ever come up with a swashbuckling School, I think one of the courses should be Laughing, Then Jumping Off Something.”

March 13, 2011

Sunday 3/13/11

Today I ran some errands and this afternoon Matt and I got in a run.  We did about 4 miles and while I did experience some nausea I actually felt pretty good.  Matt knew I was struggling so we placed a wager and that helped me finish much stronger - I guess the competitor inside me needed to come out to play.  

Saturday 3/12/11

Today we visited one of our favorite stores R.E.I. (Recreational Equipment Inc), we had merchandise to return and I bought a couple of buffs.  Buffs provide a little flexibility to head gear for an upcoming meeting at work.  I recently tried scarves but quickly realized that scarves on my head is not really the look for me.  I am better with hats, a Buff or nothing covering my head.  

The hard part about going with nothing on my head is that I have found that people in the community stare a lot.  It has pushed me to be a little stronger and smile more.  

Friday 3/11/11

Nick stopped by for a quick visit this evening - nice to see him.  Nick and Jaunda have provided video footage from the SuperMonkey House Party and I have to do some editing before posting -- if I can master this I will be posting footage soon.  

Thursday 3/10/11

Received a visit from Ryan Calong (Matt’s co-worker) this evening.  Ryan is currently training for the IronMan in The Woodlands later this year.  And he was in town for work when he decided to stop in to say hello.  I asked a lot about how the training is going and in all honesty it was nice to talk about something other than Cancer.   Ryan thanks for stopping by. 

Tonight Matt and I went for a run at the park - 4 miles and this run was rough due to nausea - but with Matt’s continual words of encouragement I pushed through.  After our run we saw the team (HART) in the parking lot.  Again, it was so great to see everyone there.  The group had just finished training and they were packing up their cars.  Anyone who knows adventure racing knows that your team mates are very important and this team has been absolutely incredible, supportive and well just amazing.  They all asked how I was doing and all mentioned that I still look great (it was dark by then) and none of them saw me while I was running / walking.  All kidding aside, even if they had they would have been equally encouraging.    Adventure racing and adventure racers combined have made me a better person; stronger, braver, more fit, more competitive and much more compassionate!

Matt also bought the dogs a few toys -- the toys don’t usually last long before they are destroyed.  They lasted a total of 4 days.  Today I walked into the room and found this -- the toy staring at me:)

Squirrel

Wednesday 3/9/11

A word about the American Cancer Society.  The local chapter offers free head coverings and wigs to Cancer Patients.  I don’t need a wig - but I wanted to know if they had any scarves or any cool head coverings.  I picked up a few hats and the styles are pretty fun - seen below.  

Ridiculous Floppy Hat

Fun Green Knitted Hat

Tuesday 3/8/11

Today I received a package in the mail from Kathryn (in Minnesota).  Kathryn is my friend who made me a few hats while I was in Minnesota and she made a few more.  Kathryn has a fabulous crocheting skill and the hats are awesome!!!

White Hat

Fun Lavender

Brown and Puffy

Monday 3/7/11

Received a package from the CanCare volunteer I previously mentioned.  A super cool hat that matches a shirt I received recently.  Amy has been very sweet and I am deeply appreciative of having another cancer survivor to talk to about what I am going through.  

Fight Like A Girl Hat - Gotta Love Pink!!

This evening Caroline and Lance visited.  Caroline brought over some vegetable minestrone -- which was GREAT.  However, Caroline also include a King Cake in her delivery.  I haven’t had King Cake since Matt and I lived in Louisiana 7 years ago.  This cake was FABULOUS!!  Lance brought me a very cool gift - his mom makes pillows and she made me one.  It is in the shape of an angel and has several uses, can be used under your arm to alleviate pressure, added comfort.  It is a super cute idea and I am grateful that Lance’s mom - who has never met me sent me this Very Cool Gift.  Thank you Marolyn - the thank you card is in the mail.  

Marolyn's Angel

A note about visitors:  I was having a rough weekend - for whatever reason this treatment was really challenging for me, might have been the Ativan or the continuous feeling of exhaustion and sickness, either way, not good.  Even Monday was rough, until Caroline and Lance came over.  :)  Matt says that I light up with company - I can be feeling terrible, but I visit with people and almost immediately I look better.  I am a total social person - and I guess even with Cancer and Chemo that hasn’t changed.  I currently work from home and while this has been very convenient through treatment, it has created an opportunity to isolate.  It is clear that I need to be sure to continue to socialize and remain connected with people.  

Stay tuned for more SuperMonkey Adventures,

Nancy

Aka:  SuperMonkey

“Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind.” - Aristotle

March, 4, 2011

Friday 3/4/11

Day after chemo – I have decided that Ativan is not for me.  It is making me feel very funny – I am not quite confident that it is helping me any more then the previous anti-nausea pill.  So for now I am going to quit the Ativan.  I found myself feeling very tired and even somewhat more emotionally sensitive (believe me I don’t need any more of that, just ask Matt).  

I went into the clinic for my Neulasta shot (white blood cell booster).  Quick visit, but a painful shot and the side effects are sore muscles and bone aches.  By the time I made it to the clinic I was feeling full on nausea – I am hoping that the switch back to my normal med will kick things back into shape, like anything else I expect it will take a little time.   

Feeling Yucky in the Infusion Waiting Room

Upon returning home – Matt said that I would feel better if I got on my motorcycle (which by the way I haven’t gone riding since all this began).  And he snapped a few photos – seen below.  

Xerox always makes me feel better :)

Kids - Don't try this at home!!

I am not sure that I have what it takes to go for a run this evening – plans for the rest of the day have not yet been decided.  But if anything else exciting happens I will let you know in my next update.  

Thursday 3/3/11

Today I showed up for Chemo at 10 am.  This is the 3^rd of 6 treatments so I am half way finished with my full chemo cocktail – while I understand that I am currently expected to continue on maintenance medication after the 6 treatments – they will be much less intense – so that is GREAT NEWS!!  

Sad news I forgot my packed lunch at home – so we ended up picking up a couple of sandwiches in the Luby’s restaurant in the clinic, they were pretty good.  Chemo ended around 3 pm.  As I mentioned on Monday – I spoke to the infusion nurse and pharmacist about Ativan.  They suggested I take it today before my chemo – so I did.  They said it is normal for it to make you feel different.  The rest of they day I took half doses. 

This week’s cocktail also included iron as I was a little anemic per my most recent oncology doctor visit / blood draw.  

While getting Chemo I got a visit from a volunteer from CanCare – Amy.  Amy has been very sweet and supportive since we were introduced, but today was the first visit in person.  I am in a much different place then when I was initially diagnosed and she had a long list of resources to help me through this time.  She later sent me an email that contained all the info we discussed.  It is very important to have others that can walk the road with you.  I have valued all the friendships Matt and I have during this time – old and new.  

Pictured with my "Healing Scarf"

Eating Fruit and Yogurt Parfait 

Ham Sandwich -- Yummy!

Mastering my weight:  So I totally think the scales on the infusion unit are way off ... so I took my weight this morning and between my morning weight at home and my weight on infusion it says I gained 7 pounds.  That is a bit much, for shoes and a jacket.  All the nurses agreed that the scales require recalibration, but Matt on the other hand still doesn’t believe me as evidenced by the pamphlets he picked up for me while we were in the lobby - picture below.  

"Santa Claus is wrong - being fat aint Jolly!!"
Ryan Calong

Thursday evening I slept a lot and Matt was able to make it to training with the HARTies.  He said he had a great time with a torturous training provided by “Coach Weihan Lin”.  

Wednesday 3/2/11

Matt returned from his trade show in San Antonio and after work we decided to go to Memorial for a run.  I gotta say that getting out of the house was great!!  And I felt a lot better running today then the last run I had – less nausea = much more fun!!  I even hit a little sprint for a bit, while I can’t tell you how fast I was going because my heart rate monitor was not charged … it felt fast and I felt good.  

Monday 2/28/11

Today was the first day working with a voice,  and my cold is greatly improved.

The most recently medication change to alleviate my nausea is Ativan.  I took some on Monday night at around 7 pm just in case it made me really sleepy.  I woke up the next morning feeling different – not quite groggy and not quite nauseous and not quite normal.  I won’t take it again until Chemo on Thursday when I have a chance to talk to the nurse and pharmacist.  You maybe wondering why Ativan (anti-anxiety) for nausea, my doctor reported that one of the side effects of Ativan is reduced nausea, it interrupts the signal from your brain to your stomach resulting in less nausea.  Ativan can be habit forming – but given my current condition this is not a great concern.  

Pictured with my new "Fight Like a Girl" T-Shirt from my friend Pam

Sunday 2/27/11

Today Matt and I had lunch with a New Friend Susan Tan and her family.  It is good to get out after being so sick.   

We had a great time, she and her husband are from Singapore and they were great to talk to.  I didn’t get a picture of us at the restaurant, but Matt took a picture of me in my dress when we got home.  We hope to get to know Susan and her family a lot better in the future. 

In my dress :)

We saw the trail riders on the way home from the restaurant and while I wasn’t able to get great pictures this gives you an idea of what we saw outside the window.  

Trail riders in Houston for the Rodeo

The rest of the day was low key and I have reached the place where I am much quicker to tire – so while I am terrible at napping – this is a skill I must learn to master.  

Given all the interest in Charlie Sheen (Matt’s Newest Favorite Rock Star), I couldn’t help but double quote him in the is weeks’ update. 

“Can’t is the cancer of happen.”

- Charlie Sheen

and

"I'm tired of pretending I'm not special, I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total freaking rockstar from Mars."

- Charlie Sheen