February 12, 2012

Friday 2/10/12

Today I returned home to a very pleasant surprise.  Matt had finished a few things in our house while I was away and started moving our belongings back into the house.  To see your belongings after so long is quite a pleasant surprise.  

This week was packed with meetings.  We were able to break up the week with a volunteer event.  There were a total of 50 volunteers (10 from our team) and we packed 62 boxes with  team volunteered at “Feed My Starving Children”.  Total we packed 13,392 meals which will feed 37 children one meal per day for one year.  This type of volunteer event is spectacular.  

Self Portrait with Hair Net

Team Photo at Feed My Starving Children

Traveling to MN for the week

Monday 2/6/12

This weekend we made more progress on our home improvements.  Today I am traveling to a colder climate (Minneapolis, MN) for a business meeting - I am excited to see my boss and team, the cold weather will be a challenge.  

Friday 2/3/12

As we have been working to put our home back together one of the things we have had to figure out is what type of mats we can use under our rugs (on the cork).  I turned to local flooring professionals a local rug place.  I picked up a few rug mats and while waiting for them to be cut to size I spoke to the salesman and learned that he is also a cancer survivor.  We swapped stories about where we sought treatment and a few of the experiences we had with chemo treatment.  The survivor I met today shared that during his corse of treatment several friends were diagnosed with various forms of cancer.  He said that at worst he remembered thinking, “this summer is going to suck”.  It was an inconvenience to be in treatment. While cancer is fatal and takes many lives each year I never really planned for my final days.  And talking to this survivor he shared the same.    I have realized the importance of positive thinking and I really believe planning for better days makes at least the bad days better.  

I will always be a cancer survivor and I very much respect that the journey / experience is different for each of us.  I have learned a lifetime of knowledge in a year and while I am sure there are people who perceive the diagnosis and treatment as the worst thing that has ever happened or could happen to them - I view it as one more thing that defines my purpose.  I was meant to experience this life, this way and while I have no idea where this path will lead, I know that I have a much deeper appreciation of all that this life holds.  

Thursday 2/2/12

This evening I had dinner with a co-worker, Jill.  We had a great time catching up.  As we reminisced on the past it became clear to me how much I have changed.  We joked that I was like an old person now, mostly because I have slowed down.  I am so accustom to being a workaholic, competitive person - that being anyone else feels like exactly that - I am someone else.  We both come from a world where clear communication skills are a valuable commodity and I have grown to appreciate it more and more.  

Jill and I at Waldo's Coffee House after dinner

Wednesday 2/1/12

Today I went to see my surgeon.  Over the last couple of days I noticed that my radiated breast has started to change - get smaller.  During today’s visit with my surgeon he said that my breast in fact looked noticeably smaller.  Radiation has many side effects, one of which is loss of elasticity.  My breast is shrinking due to the loss in elasticity and I would roughly say that it has reduced by almost half a cup size in less then a week.  The surgeon said that since my skin is changing I will likely not have reconstruction until 18 months post radiation instead of 6 months as originally expected. 

The bad news in this is that I don’t know how long or how much my tissue will change.  For now I am a little depressed about this change in my tissue.  I expect to get more answers when I meet with my plastic surgeon in a few weeks.  

Waiting to see my surgeon

Sunday 1/29/12

Today was another day caulk / pookey.  By the time the day ended, I was exhausted -- pookey sure is hard on your body. 

While I learned a lot of things this weekend I think the most valuable lesson was that “pookey power”.  Pookey can fix ALOT of stuff.  I love Pookey!!

Saturday 1/28/12

I have mentioned our home improvements more then once.  We are inching closer and closer to having our home back to normal.  Today Matt worked on the baseboards and while my usual job is to go back and forth to the hardware store as needed, today it changed.  Matt assigned me the task of caulking the baseboards.  While talking about the status of our work yesterday our neighbor Troy didn’t say caulking - instead he said “pookey”.  So Matt asked that I go online and learn how to apply the caulking / pookey on baseboards.  Shortly thereafter he gave me my tools and sent me on my way to caulk / pook.  It took a little while for me to get it down - but once I figured it all out it was great.  

Today I gained new perspective; you could call it a “pookey perspective”.  By the time the day ended I relaxed and watched a little HGTV / DIY TV and almost everything we saw I said “a little pookey would fix that”.  Honestly speaking I have always been the person to want everything to be perfect the first time.  But now, I see the world different -- pookey can fix a lot of things.  It can’t fix everything - but it can fix a lot of things.  

The point of all this pookey talk is that today I learned that perfection really is over-rated.   There are many tools / materials that help with the finish work.  This is great news and it relieves a lot of stress involved with home improvements.  

Friday 1/27/12

Today Storm and I returned to the ophthalmologists’ office.  We walked in to see a sign on the white board that read:  “Welcome Back Storm!”  It was the most ridiculous and most adorable thing I had ever seen .... since Storm can’t read.  

We had Storm’s stitches removed and his eyes look so great!!   He also seems a lot happier - I think his eyes were probably hurting and they aren’t hurting anymore so he has returned to his normal personality.  

Storm with stitches in
(looks like he has eye lashes)

The doctors office loved Storm!!

Thursday 1/26/12

Tonight I had dinner with a couple of breast cancer survivors and I am reminded of the fact that the cancer diagnosis and treatment is different for everyone.  Cancer gives us all something different.  For me, it has included:  introspection, gratitude and humility.  It has helped me understand the flaws in the system and the flaws in medicine.  We spoke of the things your doctors do not sufficiently explain or prepare you for.  Honestly everyone’s experience is different - people respond differently to medication and people have different pain tolerance.  I found myself very sick of medicine - but I quickly learned what medicine helped (example:  Anti-Nausea medicine was a must).  I learned that every medicine has a side effect and the question each of us has to answer for ourselves, “is it worth it”?  All and I am reminded every time I meet a fellow survivor - there is a deep respect for the illness, the treatment and the life we are allowed to lead as a result of the treatment.  The one piece of advice I have for those in treatment is prepare for and expect the worst, that way the good days are a bonus.  Most people will experience more good days then bad - so enjoy the good days as much as possible.  My relentless optimism could easily be misunderstood as naivety - but in fact it is the appreciation for life that keeps me optimistic.  Before all this I was healthy, happy and enthusiastic - if anything I was naive before and I thought that with the proper training I could do anything, while in fact it was the training that was preparing me to do things - more specifically to defeat Cancer.   It was the long hours riding a bike and running on trail and paddling in a boat that helped me understand the fact that our will / desire to succeed and our understanding that pain is temporary helps us succeed.  

I thought I could do anything with the right training, but in fact it was the training that I was doing that helped prepare me for the battle against cancer.   I would have approached this very differently had I never trained for and competed in all those events.  

Friday 1/20/12

Today I had a dental appointment and the dentist told me that I may need a root canal in the near future, more to come on that.  My dental work left me with a numb face and while Matt said I looked bad - I think I looked ridiculous.  I looked like I had botox - I could not move my upper lip and when I smiled I looked as though I was trying to give Matt a kiss.  Pretty silly.   The dentist also said that my teeth will be sensitive for the next couple of days - so for now I am on soft foods.  

Funny Picture # 1

Funny Picture # 2

Funny Picture # 3

I ended the day with another maintenance chemo treatment.  While there is nothing fun or exciting about chemo - the clinic is a good place.  The treatment went very well.  

Thursday 1/19/12

Today I received a very thoughtful gift.  A headband that reads:  “Put on your Big Girl Panties and RUN!” from a friend Leah.  The headband is adorable and it was delivered in accompaniment of a very thoughtful card.  I am thankful for having made such great friends.  

Super Cute Headband

Tuesday 1/17/12

Today our Siberian Husky Storm had eye surgery.  He has developed tumors on both eyes.  He had also developed a cyst on his eye that burst.  We had the tumors removed and Storm looked so pathetic when I picked him up from the vet.  Storms’ discharge orders / medications include:  antibiotics, pain meds and ointment.  

Poor Storm :(

Sunday 1/15/12

Today was the 2012 Houston Marathon.  We have been busy with home repairs that we didn’t have the opportunity to cheer on the marathoners.  Matt and I are hopeful that by next year we will be able to participate.  

Cork as it is being installed

Cork is comfy 

A moment of introspection

Life is funny and full of learning opportunities.  I have worked very hard on allowing for appropriate introspection - giving myself the time and space to learn from the things that happen in my life.  As a little history I was moved home to telecommute as of Jan 2011 and later that month I was diagnosed with Breast Cancer.  Working from home during treatment proved to be very convenient - the only problem is that my world suddenly became much smaller.  During treatment this blog helped remind me to get out and do things; I continued to run and bike and ride my motorcycle as much as possible.  But during this time I also realized how small my world really was and with both Matt and I working from home we realized that maybe it was time to get a bigger place.  All of that being said - there wasn’t anything wrong with our home -- it is small and very low maintenance.  As Matt and I have distanced ourselves more and more from intensive treatment;  chemotherapy and daily radiation treatments we have toyed with the idea of selling our home and moving to something larger and maybe even moving outside of the loop (which any inner looper in Houston will tell you is a big change).  I have written on this blog that we have been doing some work to our home and this “work” has impacted most of our house - long and short if Matt and I felt our home was small before it has in recent weeks become much smaller.  Our things have been confined to the garage and master bedroom; our road bikes, mountain bikes and motorcycles are unreachable.  As a matter of fact if you were to take a picture of our garage or master bedroom you would think we were hoarders - just like in the reality tv show.  When I look around for the things I can’t find I can hear the voiceover in my head: “Things were great for Matt and Nancy until they met their match - waterfall of unexpected home improvements / changes.”  While we are working to make the best of things - I have to say it is challenging to live with a constant film of concrete dust on everything.  

So what is the lesson - I think there are a few:

1. “Be patient with lifes’ hiccups.”  Sometimes stuff happens and when it does getting upset or being upset never helps. 
2. “Enjoy every moment to the fullest.”  I really miss playing with my toys and as a “hoarder” it is not easy to play with my toys - it is actually impossible.  

Wednesday 1/11/12

Today our cork arrived.  Matt and I went to pick it up.  We brought it home and opened all the boxes.  Cork requires at least 72 hours to acclimatize to our environment before install.  We separated the defective pieces and will exchange them in time to reacclimatize them ahead of install.  Looking around our house looks like it has giant graham crackers.  We are exciting about the forward movement this brings.  

FJ Loaded Full Of Cork

We are asking a lot of the FJ 

Cork 

More Cork

Cork Galore

Friday 1/6/12

It was a great week!  Matt was promoted.  He will continue to be based out of Houston.  Matt’s new job will allow him to build on his leadership skills.  It is a great opportunity and he is extremely enthusiastic about the change.  We are enthusiastic that we will continue to live in Houston.

Thursday 1/5/12

Cancer has taught me the importance of celebration.  I always find it interesting to learn what cancer patients celebrate.  Do you celebrate the day you had surgery, the day you started treatment.  I guess it comes back to what you are celebrating.  Today it has been 1 year from the day I was diagnosed with Cancer (my 1 year anniversary) and for me the day of my diagnosis is the day I always want to remember.  I remember it like it was yesterday and while the year has been a challenge like no other I wouldn’t trade it for anything.  Over the last year I have learned and grown more then I thought possible in a year, and while none of us know how life can or will change I understand on a whole different level that we rise to life’s challenges and in those moments we learn the most about ourselves and those around us.  

Stay tuned for more SuperMonkey Adventures,

Nancy

AKA:  SuperMonkey

“If you look for the bad in people, you will surely find it.”

- Abraham Lincoln