July 11, 2011

Sunday 7/10/11

The current challenge

Tomorrow (7/11/11) it has been 4 weeks since my surgery and my stitches have not properly healed.  I have been told by my doctors to refrain from activity (including: heavy lifting, stretching and running).  Sounds pretty easy right ... avoid doing things.  Throughout this journey (kicking cancers' butt) I have had a very assertive and positive attitude, working to remember those things I am working so hard to continue (relationships with friends / family , healthy challenges and good times).  Surgery has changed the game - my current challenge is in avoiding activity.  Today as I sat on the bed talking to Matt I felt a sudden wave of sadness - and I began to cry.  I couldn't stop myself and I could barely manage to tell Matt why I was crying.  I cried because I am sad and this stage has been surprisingly difficult.  While going through chemo therapy I had to be strong and muscle through my side effects.  I worked very hard to be active and maintain physical fitness despite side effects.  That fighting style felt second nature.  But now I need to be patient and with no big bad ugly chemo to knock me down I feel like a fish out of water.  It is the stillness that allows me to be alone with my thoughts and feelings and this morning I found myself feeling remarkably sad.  

Matt is the best partner to have through this and today was no different, he was very patient and listened as I spoke of my feelings.  Truth is that while I understand my own feelings it doesn't help me control myself or even spare Matt of having to see my weaknesses.  But that is the funny thing about partnership / team work - you can't control what your team mates know about you - they see your strengths and weaknesses.  Matt reminded me that I always do great with challenges.  Matt also reminded me that the challenge of doing nothing might be the most difficult / unfamiliar for me.  Come to think of it I have been a little impatient my whole life ... that is why Christmas has always been so challenging - waking up everyday to a Christmas tree with wrapped presents underneath it ... that is an impatient persons' worst nightmare.  

Matt spent the morning and most of the day with me and reminded me that I need to remember to talk to him about my feelings.  I have always been very independent so this is a good reminder that despite my independent nature I need others - more specifically I need Matt.  Strength does not only come from within, we draw strength from those around us.  

A note on physical activity

The one activity / exercise I can do is walk.  This is a challenge considering it is over 100 most days during the summer in Houston.  A few months back Matt found a used "Nordic Track ski machine" basket case that he rebuilt and while I initially poked fun at him the machine offers a lot of opportunity for physical fitness.  A Nordic Track allows you to move you legs independent of your arms, much the same as an elliptical machine.  Anyway, the machine required a change in a bolt to make it a little more stable and today Matt made the change.  What this means is that I can use the Nordic Track even when it is super hot outside.  

Matt - thank you for being so spectacular ... I couldn't ask for a better partner through all this!!!

Me Nording

Still Nording :)

Saturday 7/9/11

Matt was out most of the day today and I originally intended to run errands today - but my left arm still hurts and I didn't want to push it.  So instead I stayed home and caught up on a few chick flicks ("Love & Other Drugs" and "The Switch").  

Matt and I rounded off the day with grocery shopping and dinner in.  We also watched "The Other Guys" with Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg - it was a very funny movie.  

My sister-in-law Annah - competed in her first triathlon today in Massachusetts.  I am very proud of her accomplishment today and I know that she will learn a lot about herself in training and in competition.  Great work Annah!!

Annah had a great swim

Thursday 7/7/11

Today I returned to the plastic surgeons' office and unfortunately my stitches are not improving.  The decision was made to remove some of the saline to relieve the pressure on my stitches.  They also cleaned up my stitches (removed the surgical glue) and added steri strips to keep my skin together and allow for proper healing.  The physicians' assistant (also known as PA) did an awesome job patching me up.  She explained that it was the saline in my tissue expander that caused my stitches to come apart, by releasing some of the fluid the expectation is that my skin will heal at which point they can start to expand my tissue again.  The amount of fluid / saline in my expander will be determined by both the plastic surgeon and the radiation oncologist.  

For now I am still advised to avoid activity.  

This hat has many looks
(Thank you Kathryn P)

Wednesday 7/6/11

Today I went in to see my breast surgeon.  This is the first time Matt and I have see him since my surgery.  He reviewed the results of the pathology report with Matt and I.  The results at this point are great.  We covered lots of topics with this doctor including living without axillary lymph nodes and the risk of lymphedema.  I intend to eventually return to my previously life and lifestyle, this doctor saw absolutely no problem with that.  He said that it is important to be aware of the risks (inflamed arm associated with fluid that will not drain) but he advises patients that they should live life as they normally would.  It maybe necessary to use a compression sleeve in the future for things such as long trips (flights or car rides) but that for right now expect to live life as I normally would - once my body has healed.  This is really remarkable news.  

Due to the fact that I had cancer in my lymph nodes prior to chemo the recommendation to have radiation has not changed.  Therefore, the plan is still that I will receive radiation to assure that the cancer does not return.  

I currently can't move my left arm very high (this is attributed to the removal of my lymph nodes on the left side).  There are stretches you are to do after surgery - but I have been advised to hold off due to my stitches on my left breast separating.  After my stitches have properly healed I may require physical therapy to regain full movement in my arm - but this will be decided later.  I will continue to have my stitches monitored by my plastic surgeons' office.  

Waiting for Dr. Baker

Monday 7/4/11

Today is the 4th of July - Happy Independence Day!!

A crisis teaches you many things and one of the deepest, most important lessons it has taught me is the that of recognizing friendship.  Matt and I have been very lucky in that many of our friends have been incredibly supportive.  Today Matt and I spent the afternoon with our neighbors (friends) Troy and Angela.  We first met Troy and Angela last year as they were building their house on a vacant lot down the street.  They have been very supportive of Matt and I through this process.  Today we went over to their house to grill, it was a great time!  I hope everyone out there had a safe and happy holiday.  

Stay tuned for more SuperMonkey Adventures,

Nancy 

Aka:  SuperMonkey 

"My Goal in life is to fill every minute of my available spare time with as many fun things outdoors as possible, during the time I have left on this Earth."

 ~ Dr. Dave Boyd - may he rest in peace